For many Asian Americans and Pacific Islanders living in Las Vegas, there are a variety of different comments/phrases that are commonly shared between all ethnicities that encompass the family challenges inside the Asian American and Pacific Islander communities.
From being compared to others to general comments that seem to be an insult, most of these phrases are often mentioned in closed groups or family gatherings. Many of these phrases are often seen as “tough love” and can have a psychological effect of feeling pressured or feeling guilt for not upholding familial/cultural standards.
Why “Tough Love” is a Generational Challenge
Many Asian American and Pacific Islander families are often starting out as first or second generation living in Las Vegas and often rely on how they were raised to set specific standards for their children. Due to the “immigrant” story, it is often a difficult environment to raise children in Las Vegas as living standards are drastically different to how they were raised in other parts of the world.
Therefore it often requires several generations to help change the perception of “tough love” and focus more on positive support.
Interpreting “Tough Love” Comments
As a community-building and professional development non-profit organization in Las Vegas, we’re sharing our interpretations of comments many Asian American and Pacific Islander families and communities have heard or have faced in their lifetime.
We’re adding our interpretation as business professional phrases.
Comment: “You’re getting fat.” or “You seems so skinny.”
Translation: “I’ve noticed some changes in your appearance recently. How are you feeling?”
Comment: “Why aren’t you more like your cousin?”
Translation: “Each person has unique strengths and qualities. I’d like to discuss how we can leverage yours to achieve your goals.”
Comment: “You disappoint me”
Translation: “I had higher expectations for this outcome. Let’s discuss how we can improve going forward.”
Comment: “Why didn’t you finish your food?”
Translation: “Is everything okay with your meal? I noticed you didn’t finish it.”
Comment: “I always know best.”
Translation: “I have a lot of experience and insights to offer. Let’s work together to find the best solution.”
Comment: “What’s wrong with you?”
Translation: “Is there something bothering you? I’m here if you need to talk.”
Comment: “You can do better.”
Translation: “I believe in your potential and think you can achieve even greater results.”
Comment: “You’re a failure.”
Translation: “I believe you have the potential to succeed, and I’m here to support you in overcoming any obstacles.”
Challenging “Tough Love”
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